His Choice
by SilverCrystal Tears
Summary: He had made his choice and she wasn’t apart of it. So she has no choice but to move on without him, bearing the pain of a broken soul. Then he comes back. Oneshot T for cursing


Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha 

**Summery: He had made his choice and she wasn't apart of it. So she has no choice but to move on without him, bearing the pain of a broken soul. Then he comes back. Angsty, OOC for Inuyasha, maybe.**

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Kagome raced into the house, ignoring her family's cries of surprise and concern, and ran to her room. She slammed the door and threw herself on her bed, burying her face in the pillow. Sobs wrenched out of her as tears dampened the pillow.

She didn't try to stop them, didn't hold back, just let the pain, the anger, the despair and anguish pour out of her in the form of her tears. It had been a long time since she had let herself cry. A couple years, if she thought about it. But she didn't care now.

All she cared about was the fact that he had chosen and it hadn't been her. She had known, had known that he wouldn't choose her over a past love, yet had denied it, and had caused herself so much pain.

So now she cried, oblivious to everything around her, to her family's whispered concern, to the questions on the other side of the well as to where she had gone. She didn't care and was too wrapped up in her grief to even try.

* * *

It was hours later and night had fallen when she awoke. At first she was disoriented, wondering why the ground was so soft and why she had a headache from hell along with cottonmouth. Then she remembered.

The grief didn't threaten her this time. She had poured all of it out during her crying before she had fallen asleep. She knew what to do now, even as her heart cried against it. Yet, it was strangely muffled, as if under a blanket, and Kagome only heard what had to be done.

He had chosen and now she had no reason to stay in the Feudal era any longer. So she gathered up a few supplies and slipped outside. The well house was cold, being it was the middle of winter here, and icy, so she watched herself as she walked down the stairs.

She came to the well and gazed into it for a minute or so, the memories of every time she had gone through and come back via it going through her mind. Then she closed them off and pulled out the bottle of holy water, the Shikon Jewel, and a small knife.

Quickly, she cut herself and let her blood drip on the well and the Jewel, which she had set on the edge of the well. Then she pulled her hand back and uncorked the holy water. Powerful, ancient words came to her lips as she let two drops of holy water drop onto the Jewel and her blood.

A seal of binding, the most powerful one a miko could do, spilled from her lips to the Jewel, well, blood, and water, filling the room with pure blue light. It blinded Kagome for a moment, and then it was gone.

The Jewel, blood, and water were gone, and the well looked like it always had, only Kagome knew that no one or thing could pass through it, be it bones, human, or demon. She had bound it with the blood of a miko, the water of a god, and the sacred Shikon Jewel.

Two birds with one stone; no one would ever get to the Jewel again, and no one would cross the border of this era and the next again, as long as her binding was there, and nothing would break it.

Slowly turning, as if every bone in her body ached, Kagome climbed the steps one last time and closed the door to the well house before slowly making her way back to the house and what was left of her life.

* * *

It took time to adjust, to come to grips with what really was. For two days after she had sealed the well she just lay in her room, refusing to move, eat, or sleep, just lying there, staring at the ceiling.

The family had gone to see her in the morning to find her this way. Only Kagome's mom seemed to understand. She kept Souta and Kagome's grandpa out of the room. She then sat by Kagome's bed and stroked her hair, a comforting action that had soothed Kagome when she had been younger and had woken from nightmares.

Finally, on the second day, Kagome spoke. Her tone was blank, just as her eyes were, yet Kagome's mom knew what she was feeling. "Do you ever accept it mom? Does the pain ever really go away?" Her fingers never faltered in stroking Kagome's hair as she answered.

"No. Some people say it does but they have never really loved. Not like the love you and me have had. I will never remarry, for your father was the only one for me, just as it seems Inuyasha was the only one for you. The pain will always be there; it will never dull, but sometimes grow sharper.

You can block it out and work your life around it, but it will never leave, never dull. And you will wake up everyday and turn in your bed, expecting to feel him there, yet he isn't and you remember he is gone. You never really accept it, even if your mind seems to. Your heart doesn't forget as your mind does and so the pain never dulls and your heart never accepts he's gone."

As her mother finished, tears leaked from Kagome's eyes. She had thought she had been dry of tears, yet it seems she wasn't. They came again with her mother's words and the truth in them.

Hadn't she been afraid to sleep, knowing she would dream of him? Hadn't she been afraid to think, knowing that her mind and heart would wage a war as to forget, or to forever remember?

The tears came harder with the knowledge that he was gone, really gone. Kagome's mom simply hugged her daughter as she wept onto her shoulder. She knew what Kagome was going through.

Ever since her beloved husband had died in a car accident fourteen years ago she herself had felt what Kagome was feeling. She had hoped that Kagome would be spared this, but it was not to be. She had known this when Inuyasha had first dragged Kagome back to the Feudal Era.

She had seen the tension and sparks between them and had waited, watching as Kagome came home in turns of depression, anger, tears, and heartbreak. She had known and it seems that Inuyasha had finally chosen. Closing her eyes on the past, Kagome's mom hugged Kagome closer as she wept what was left of her heart out.

* * *

Kagome moved on. She wouldn't say she got over Inuyasha, but she moved on. She graduated high school, barely. Moved on to college and got a degree in Feudal History and opened an archery range.

Her grandfather taught her more on her miko powers and how to use and control them. She learned that demons existed in her society, though were well hidden. She became known in that society as the most powerful miko of the century, kind to both demon and human, though she would not hesitate to defend herself or others against either.

But what every human, demon, or half demon said about her when they met her, saw her, or looked at her from afar was that she had sad eyes; sad dark eyes. She had moved to southern Japan; Tokyo had too many memories for her to remain sane in.

She had seen Miroku and Sango's reincarnations, little Shippo, a grown up demon now, Koga, Ayame, Shiori, so many she had known in the Feudal Era. So she had moved south, where she wasn't constantly reminded of everything she had once been and had lost.

The only reminders of her past here were Sesshomaru and Rin, who had helped her out in many ways. Sesshomaru had helped her start her archery range and taught her more efficient ways to handle a bow; Rin made her laugh when she had thought she would never laugh again.

They helped her keep connected with the part of herself she had thought she had lost ten years ago, which had helped her stay sane. Yet it was the early hours in the mornings, when she dragged herself out of bed three days a week and went to the range that centered her.

Here she practiced regular and purified archery, occasionally katana practice if Sesshomaru decided to grace her with his presence. During weapons practice she could remember what it was like to be carefree, to be happy, to not have pain dogging you with every step you took.

This was where she stood now. She had a long bow cocked, dressed in a miko garb, her hair pulled back, eyes closed. She reached for her inner peace, the place that had grown so much smaller over the years, and shot.

Her arrow arched blue in the pale morning light, to strike a faraway target and explode. She smiled slightly. The arrow had hit the target dead on and had exploded on command. She cocked another arrow and aimed, but at the last moment she swung her bow and shot at a figure behind her.

Sesshomaru evaded the arrow as it shot at him, then jumped as it turned to try to hit him again. Kagome stopped the arrow with a snap of her fingers, causing the blue flying arrow to stop and drop to the ground. Sesshomaru landed and straightened with a look of amusement.

He hadn't changed at all in the past five hundred years, with the exception of a few lines on his flawless face, caused by Rin and Kuraromaru, his mate and son. "Nice greeting." She shrugged and wound her bowstring up again. "You know not to sneak up on me Sesshomaru. Especially when I'm practicing. Are you here for a duel or are you just escaping Rin and Kura?"

Sesshomaru walked forward until he stood shoulder to shoulder with Kagome, his large frame dwarfing her lean one. "Actually, someone wants to talk to you. I thought it was wise that they talk to you now instead of later, when you don't have various sharp objects in your reach."

Curious, she looked up at him. "And who would warrant such precautions, Sesshomaru? I don't make it a habit to try to kill someone who wants to talk to me. Often." Sesshomaru just glanced over at the door.

"You can come in now. She won't try to skewer you at the moment." In a second Sesshomaru had Kagome's quiver, not even bothering to try to take her bow from her, which would have been like trying to take chocolate from Rin when she was in heat.

The person with whom Sesshomaru had decided to keep alive, if only for a few moments, walked slowly in. Garbed in a pair of worn jeans, red T, battered sneakers, and a baseball cap, he looked like a random guy you could pick up off the street.

But on a closer look you would see the amber eyes, a hint of the white hair stuffed under the cap, and the strangely long nails on callused fingers. Kagome stiffened as she caught the aura of said person before he came into view.

Pain, elation, anguish, all coursed through her the moment she felt him. She turned to Sesshomaru, to curse him, kill him, anything, but he was gone, as he often was whenever he felt that violate situations could be avoided or his presence wasn't needed. He had taken her quiver with him too.

Stubbornly, Kagome turned to her target again, and started the painstaking process of creating an arrow out of miko energy. It was a precise process but could be done quick, but ate up energy if used too much.

A bright blue arrow appeared in her bow and with precision she shot it. This time when it hit the target it didn't explode, but imploded on contact, causing a ringing silence. The person came up beside her, careful to keep out of range of her bow.

"Kagome."

It was all he said but she felt it in her soul. Knowing she wouldn't be able to shot a thing without missing, she lowered her bow and tightened the string. "What do you want Inuyasha?" He took off his cap, letting his white mane of hair to fall down his back. He looked at her, not sure what he would see.

Her eyes were blank, her posture stiff with tension. "To talk. Will you grant me that Kagome?" She sighed and placed her bow on the ground before moving to the rail of the range and sitting on it.

"Talk. I have class in a couple hours and I still have to get ready." Frightened of her blank tone, he quickly started talking. "Why did you seal the well Kagome? You didn't say a thing to me or Sango or Miroku. You just up and left."

Kagome felt rage, old rage that had been buried under grief and pain, start to burn in her stomach. Using control that had lasted her for the past ten years, she dampened it down and merely sighted down another target.

"If you didn't figure it out then, why should I tell you now?" Inuyasha made to bite back with a retort but stopped, not wanting for her to close up or her to kill him with a miko arrow.

"Please Kagome. I want to know why you left. In 500 years I have been unable to figure out why." The rage was stretching her control. The only outward appearance of her anger was a tightened grip on her bow as she swung it up to shoot.

"Then you're dense as well as stupid, but then, I've always known that." She shot, red tingeing the blue arrow. The target exploded with more force than the past two, showing her agitation to Inuyasha. He bit his lip at the charred target and gulped.

"Yes I realized that too, but please Kagome, tell me." Kagome lowered her bow with one hand and gripped the rail with the other, her knuckles white. "We had defeated Naraku, the Jewel was whole and safe. The only reason I had stayed past the battle was because of you Inuyasha. I was waiting for your choice."

Confusion entered his amber gaze. "Choice? What choice?" Her entire hand was white now with the strength of her grip on the rail. "Of who you loved, you asshole! Of whether you wanted to live with the past or with the present. You made your choice and I wasn't it, so there was no reason for me to stay. So I left and sealed the well. End of story."

Inuyasha stared at her in shock along with confusion. Then it clicked. "Kikyo." For the first time in the 500 years Kagome turned and looked him dead in the eye. He saw the pain, the torment that she had lived with for longer than ten years.

"Yes Kikyo. You chose her and thus I had no reason to stay in the Feudal Era. You didn't honestly think you would be able to have us both did you?" By the ashamed look in his eyes she knew he had.

"Then you are worse than dense and stupid, Inuyasha. You are a fool. Get out." His head snapped up, "But, Kagome-" "I said get out! If you don't get your fucking ass out of here in the next three seconds I will make Kikyo's arrow feel like a toothpick."

He started to back up, confused and scared at the look in her eyes. "Please Kagome, can't we at least be friends?" She looked at him one last time and this time he saw the tears.

"No," she said finally, turning away. "We can never be friends Inuyasha. It would never be enough and you have already given the rest to someone else. Leave." He had no choice but to turn and leave the dojo, wondering what the hell had gone wrong.

When she was sure he was gone, Kagome lowered her bow to the floor and laid her head on the railing as the tears came, though she made no sound. His appearance, his words, had caused the scarred over tissue on her heart to bleed once again, to consume her world with grief as it had those two days after she had closed the well.

She felt a warm, comforting hand on her shoulder and glanced up. Rin Tenseiga smiled sadly at her, nudging her off the railing. "Come on, we're going to my place. Sesshomaru's already agreed to do classes today."

Kagome made no protest as Rin helped her to her car. She knew that her world had tilted again, just as it had ten years ago. Only this time, her heart had come to realize he was never coming back and the two pieces it had become shattered into so many that there was no hope of them ever being whole again.

**The End   
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** Sry so sad, was in a crappy mood   
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** _Chrys_**


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